You know you've been in China too long when...

• you can eat faster with chopsticks than with a fork.


• you have to think how to use a knife and fork.


• you remember your last trip to Taco Bell fondly.


• you eat at McDonalds to put some solid food into your body.


• you prefer to drink beer from one litre bottles.


• you think Great Wall Cabernet is not too bad.


• you get an urge to spit in public.


• you fiercely haggle a difference of 1 RMB in price (about 12 cents).


• white people all look the same to you.


• you don't mind being in a crowd... of a million or more.


• you believe you are really tall when you are only 5'10".


• you don't mind when your taxi honks their horn at people as you drive down the sidewalk.


• someone says, "Look at the foreigner!", and you look around.


• you find yourself "getting back to nature" in a park that contains nothing but concrete and a giant statue of some dead commie.


• open spaces make you uncomfortable.


• squatting doesn't seem that difficult.


• you find state-employed staff helpful, knowledgeable, and friendly.


• you light up a cigarette in the elevator.


• a stranger asks you for directions in Chinese and you understand them...


• you give directions to a stranger in Chinese and they understand you.